random thoughts

okay.


so, this is me at my new job. completely innocent about the whole thing that goes around here. really, i do not know how to get about here.

but.


i am enjoying my time here. cool people, cool place.


i was supposed to meet tyn last saturday, but i wasn't able to receive any messages from her. so i just stayed over my tita's house where my boyfriend picked me up late at night and we had pizza.

speaking of boyfriend, today is our 4th year and 4th month anniversary. sounds....old, hehehehe. yes, we've been together that long. im happy, contented, proud, glad about us.


the only gloomy thing is, he got plans of working abroad. duh. long distance affair!!! i sure don't want that. i will not have it. oh well.

i had a dream about april madrileno last night. though she is a pesalbo now, i will always remember her as april madrileno. it's been over a year since we last saw each other. i remember, we watched "the passion". and then, i lost my cel last december, so that means, i also lost her number. now i don't know how to contact her. i missed here so much!

=home=

my place at recoletos is on the verge of overpopulation.

julie ann lives there.

cynthia lives there.

and now, amor lives there too.

just a brief overview.... that house has one "decent" size room, and one tiny, cute, small, space challenged room. only one closet, quaint little kitchen, and a complimentary space for what is supposed to be the sala, except that in my place, instead of a sofa, an ironing board is currently on broad display. and oh yes, i have a restroom..... just a small one.

take note, the word that would best describe my crib is small.


anyways, the four of us lives there. we can actually breathe inside, thank you.

convenience wise, it's pretty hard to adjust, since i also have to give up some of my bedspace. plus my privacy has been reduced to zilch. my lotion is also their lotion, my cologne is also their cologne. same goes with my food stuff. communism is much appreciated there. sometimes, when i want to bask in silence to get a good dose of sleep, i end up irritated necause three mouths are speaking at the same time on the other room... when the tv is on and i want to listen to the radio, i have to squish my desire to listen to alanis morissette or dido until the tv is politely turned off.

and much, much more.

bottom line is, we need a larger space. a breathable habitat. a place where air can live too. a house where we can also accomodate other molecules.

i already brought up the issue to julie ann and cynth, but they said that recoletos is pretty much a home to them, and i also agree since recoletos is the first place where i practiced my independence....

we don't want to leave. we will be saddened. we will be depressed.

so, until further notice, recoletos will remain to be my address.


mwah.

IN MY WORLD

if God will let me have my own world, this is how it will be....


in my world.... nobody dies at twenty three...there are no long distance affairs....no goodbyes, no pains, no seperation...

in my wolrd, friends stay together, lovers never part, friends never die....

in my world, life is filled with books, travel opportunities, quiet moments with friends.

in my world, sons and daughters won't have to leave their parents in search for a better life....they can stay, yet they can still be considered as "independent".

in my world, parents remain healthy, they never have to face financial constraints, marital depression....

in my world, grandparents don't die. they live to continue telling the tales and stories of the past, while greatly embracing the present.

in my world, there are no cigarette vendors in the middle of the street.

in my world, no baby will be abandoned by their parents.

in my world, no student will worry about how they are going to pay their tuition.


what am i thinking????


this kind of world does not, will not, can not exist.

i am a dreamer.

BREAK AWAY

ill spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly.... i'll do what it takes til i touch the sky.....
out in the darkness and into the sun, BUT I WON'T FORGET ALL THE ONES THAT I LOVE.....


sometimes, one has to make a choice... even if it will cause pain, despair, hopelessness.... to move forward is a scary step, but eventually, the need to experience change will overcome the fear and uncertainties one feels.

dillemas, dillemas.

i've been working at svi for a year, and it has become my second home.... i met lots of great people, learned how to sell, overcame challenges, and a whole lot more.

here comes the cliche.... svi taught me to be PATIENT, TOLERANT, KIND, and FORGIVING. i will never forget my experiences there. most especially, the people who made a difference in my life. when i came to svi, very few people had the guts to know me better. im glad that these people never judged me....they accepted me for what i am, and for that, i am now a believer of fate.

mommy aya, for leading me back to Jesus, for making me feel that im a part of a family again... for sharing her kids to me which brought me immeasurable delight.

Aileen, for deepening my ilonggo roots, and everytime we speak our own dialect, it always feels like im back home again... for a true believer that i can make sales....

Cei, for being so thoughtful, kind and outright good to me... for never judging me at first glance....thank you for the jokes, the laughter.....everything!

and the they say, the last is reserved for the best........Kristyn grace jabson nunag...... tyn, thank u so much for giving the kind of friendship that can be seldom experienced in this world. thanks for letting me feel that i am being cared for. thank you for bringing nano into my life. knowing you makes me feel so young, hehehehe. it's like having a college buddy once again. for the fun, secrets, and everything we did, i owe u so much happiness.

im in a whole new world... new faces, new challenges. but the warmth of your friendship secures me.... that somewhere out there, a familiar face awaits me....

i thank you.