Darling Harbour at night.....

taken outside the warehouse, wasn't in the mood for picture taking.... hehehehehehehe.

at the office, as usual, with may.... we were at regent's park in sydney....... when the boss is away.....

with may at the monorail....

im with karen and may, we're waiting for the mass outside st. mary's cathedral in sydney

at the Hyde Park....

here's the opera house at close up... with me is the muse of isabela

here's me with my nanny, hehehehe, i mean, my good friend karen....... behind is the famous Harbour Bridge in Sydney.

missing jo

the last time that jo kept in touch was last june... it was just a simple text, and from then on, i haven't heard from her. i was in hegos occidental last week and i texted her, but she never replied... now im wondering what happened to her. friends are supposed to keep in touch, right? she was my bestfriend in college, and she is still my bestfriend. i miss her so much. there's just so many things that i wanna tell her, and of course, i want to hear things from her as well. we used to spend endless hours just talking and talking, singing, and making fun of each other... i miss those times!

my thought is about....

Tyn?? where the hell are you?

i miss this bitch so much. tried calling her but i think her cel is broken or something. hey tyn, wish we could have coffee together and why don't you bring nano along? how is he by the way? hope he's doing great in school.

anyways, December is fast approaching. i have plans of having my vacation at bago city, but i think going back to my hometown four times this year is unreasonable on the budget. i say, it's christmas, i have to be there!!! but no, im still thinking about it... i need to be practical this year!!!!

but really... last year, i spent christmas with my sister here in manila, and it's really different. i've been to relatives' house but it's still different to be in your own house... you just can't feel the spirit of christmas (if there's such a thing) when you're on somewhere else other that your home.

christmas is a huge deal to me. i don't go to mass nor say the rosary... but i believe in christmas, never mind the fact that it is not the true birth date of jesus christ. christmas season is a time for me to reflect at my blessings. and i love the fact that it gives a light feeling to me.

of groceries, people who think they are high and mighty, being charitable, what have you!

i just finished making the grocery list and i think that it's the longest ive made so far. my god! how i wish my pay slip will be long too... i only listed the essential ones ( cooking oil, ground chicken, shampoo, soap....) but it still goes on and on. phew! my only consolation is that, i get to live comfortably until the next payday comes.

anyways, i really hate this man who thinks he is all that. i mean, he's not funny! the way he makes jokes and gestures, grrr, i hate it!!!!!!

and oh yeah. i am very much bothered by my conscience... a friend asked for a financial help and i wasn't able to help her, but i promised to. it'sjust that im also short on my finances and i can't even buy groceries right now.... i just don't have enough resources to be charitable. but she sounded so damn desperate that i can't say no to her, and yet, i wasn't able to send her the money. ugh. i hate this feeling.


i hate to go home today. my laundry is eating my whole place.


it's a HUGE problem.

*sob*

this day called thursday

woke up today with fear. i was afraid i'd get robbed again. eversince i was robbed last december of last year, i would constantly worry that somebody will just pop out and point a gun at me and take away all my belongings. i get so paranoid, especially inside the taxi, fx or the bus. i hate the feeling! it just takes away so much from me. i should be thinking about pleasant things, but i can't help it. i wish it won't happen again.

last night, i tried to fix dinner, but it was a disaster. i had this pakbet mix in the fridge and i was thinking of making pinakbet (vegetables, shrimp paste, and pork), but unfortunately, i was so lazy to go to the pork stalls at the market, so i bought chicken instead because i was thinking that it will taste the same. when i got home, it turned out that i don't have a decent shrimp paste in store, so what i did was sauteed the chicken, threw a little water and then add on the vegetables. it tasted funny, on the verge of being disgusting. but when cynthia and julie ann came home, they ate it and they never said a word. i guess it wasn't that bad. hehehehehe.

Patrick has been calling us for two straight nights. we told him that he should minimize long distance calls because it was really expensive but he wouldn't budge. touching. i know he misses us so much, but we have to be practical. he would always tell us that he feels sad, lonely... i couldn't blame him. who would want to spend their time on a pair of 50 year olds when you're only 11??? i mean, it would be different if his sisters were still around. anyways, i miss patrick so much. i can't wait to see him again!

nothing

im not into inspirational books or movies, self help books or seminars.

but most of the people dear to me are into those things. i just don't understand them. i mean, this is my life, and i'll play it the way i want to...

Letting go, reuniting, friendship, family, lotsa fun

five days after getting back from Sydney, i went to negros occidental to visit my folks. i took the last flight last thursday and my mother, father, and bro waited for me at the airport. seeing our house again made my heart swell with happiness and security. of course, our house has never been the same.... too big for just the three of them. my room looked like a big mint green box. nevertheless, it still felt like i only left it yesterday. Tandy, my ever loyal dog, welcomed me once more with so much energy that right after licking my face and running around me, he sat at one corner and dozed off.

the following morning, me and my mama went to this spa, and we did those bonding over manicures, facials, and hot oils. my throat was hoarse from so much talking! of course, we had this shopping spree and she bought me half a dozen of skirts (the boho kind).

me and my pops just spent our bonding at home, mainly talking, talking and talking....

on saturday, i went to the Reclamation to fetch my friend, Coney. imagine, we haven't seen each other for ten years! i was so happy to see her again. as promised, she slept over my house. rosario was also able to come. and the three of us went to the cemetery and brought some flowers for melrose. on the tombstone, i read MELROSE OLVIDO APRIL4 1982- JUNE 9 2005...... the words made it all so... final. i still can't believe that she's dead. all we could say at that time is, melrose is really dead....... we prayed for her eternal rest, and then we took some pictures.... before, there were four----wella, coney, melrose and me.... now there was three... good thing, rosario was able to come. we posed, all smiles, as if melrose is still physically with us.

we bought seven long stemmed roses, and on sunday, we went to the old, broken bridge where we used to spend so many times together when we were in high school. sadly, our favorite part of the bridge is long gone so we went to the opposite side. it was still a good thing because before, we used to long to reach the other side, but since we were just little, we were not able to do it. being on the other isde of the bridge feels like our friendship has come full circle. the view is still the same, the waters still green... the nipa, the boats.... we tossed the roses and out of the blue, rosario asked for a sign from melrose, asking her to let her presence be felt. a few seconds later, a fly landed on coney's feet. and we knew at that moment that melrose was with us because she used to tell me that when she dies, she would like to be reincarnated as a fly. we just sat there, reliving old times, joking at old jokes, and most of our sentences begin with, remember when...... it was truly touching. and as a final goodbye to mel, we each made a wish and tossed a coin. just like we used to do before.

last sunday, i felt thirteen again... when friendship is all that mattered.

to top it off, wella was able to come a little later..... for ten years, me and melrose used to wish so hard for the four of us to be together again.... and last sunday, melrose's wish has been granted. we went to my old home and we took pictures of my old room where we spent countless of sleepovers.

i felt a little lonely when the day ended because everyone has to go home.... two days are not enough... how i wish we spent more days!

saying goodbye to my mama and papa and patrick was much harder. when will i see them again? this christmas? new year? on february?

but all in all, my trip to negros was the happiest i ever had.

im going to bago city tomorrow

i miss my folks, so im going to visit them tomorrow afternoon.... emotions are so expensive! this trip will cost me a ton, but never mind.... it's all worth seeing them again.

i can't wait to play with Tandy, my ever so loyal, ever so cute dog... and listen to patrick's stories!

also, me and one of my best pals in high school will also meet up and we plan to have a sleepover at my house just like the old times. and of course, we will say our farewell to melrose by the old bridge.

gone sour

shit happens. when your car breaks down, when you miss the bus, when you're stuck in the traffic, when you ran out of money... gotta say, shit happens.

i don't know why im saying this, i don't feel shitty or what. in fact, i had a good night sleep. i found extra money in my wallet and i took a cab to work.

now that im back....

ookie. the trip back to the philippines was very shitty. the flight was delayed (nothing new, but try it) for two freaking hours.boredom nearly killed me! there were a few good movies on the plane.. mr and mrs smith, fever pitch, the longest yard, there was even a Simpsons marathon, but still, staring at the screen for consecutive hours was like being thrown into a pit of mathematical problems, which is very fatal to my health! add my 3 inch boots to the misery. i have to wear the boots because it weighs a ton, so i have to save the weight to avoid overloading problems.... my baggage was 28 kilos, and the allowed weight is only 20... plus, i wore two jackets because it wouldn't fit into my suitcase anymore. anyways, the almost 8 hour flight ended at around 930 pm, manila time, last saturday.

big fat WHEW to that.

so now that im back, im actually avoiding friends and comrades coz every time i see them, i see a note in theri foreheads.... pasalubong!

well, that's just it. when you go overseas, no matter how short your stay is, you NEED to bring home some goodies to your friends and family, otherwise, you'll get this tampo thingy which is very, very annoying.. it just sucks to know that people will talk behind your back because you didn't give them something..... argh.

anyways, im back. that's all.

FAREWELL AU!

im packing my things now.... will be going back to the philippines tomorrow morning...


aahhh, the memories i had at this foreign land! i took a lot of pictures and im sure, time will never let this memories fade. i had a fabulous time... the beaches, the cityscape, the food and the people... i wish i can go back here someday!

home

there is no place like home....

and i can't wait to be home....


i wanna come home......

cold days and tuesdays

it's been my third week here in sydney... the weather is still cold, though everybody around here says that this is a lovely weather... still, im holding on to my scarf and jacket as if my life depends on it. what can i say? im cold intolerant, hehehehe!

anyways, work is a bit loose... nothing much to do. i was reading my mails, and of course, im so delighted that Coney, one of my bestfriends in high school, is keeping in touch regularly. it's been more than 8 years since we last saw each other... beat that.

of course, much of our emails are about melrose, and the crazy stuff we used to do together.

i've been thinking about the old bridge we used to go to... that bridge is gone now, but the memories we made there will always stay. dreams and longings were whispered at the bridge's rough surface.... the green waters below is the witness to that. we used to toss a coin and make a wish there, hug the bridge's steel frame and shout crazy words... that bridge was part of our friendship!

when i think of my childhood memories, that bridge is very prominent in my mind.

anyways, can't wait to be back in the philippines. miss the warm weather there!

still in au

the past two weeks has been fun and tiring...

the first week, may and i were together here in sydney and then after that, she left for brisbane. i was supposed to go to melbourne, but something came up, so i have to stay in sydney until it's time for me to go back to manila again.

it's really strange to sit at left side of the front seats.... and to look right first when crossing the streets... and the cold weather is unbearable! i wear layers and layers of socks and clothes all the time.

the food is great, big servings, lotsa flavors. i especially enjoy their chips, or french fries for me.. they are HUGE... and lots of seafoods too. their oysters are big too, like the palm of my hand... and of course, their steak is simply the best.

quiet lonely here though coz the shops closes at 4pm except on thursay...

been to alot of beautiful places... blue mountain, blowhole, nan tien temple, wollongong... fantastic.

will be back this saturday. can't wait!