My tito passed away last december 2005. He died due to complications from Steven Johnson's Syndrome, a massive allergy triggered by Allopurinol. It's been four months since that tragic day, and everytime i remember him, I still feel this sadness... I remember the sound of his laughter, his jokes and talks about history. Anyways, I would like to share an article written by my other tito. This appeared in the Business world.
Remembering Ed
Last Wednesday, December 14, at around eleven o'clock in the evening,
my
younger brother, Edgardo Sicangco Cruz passed away at the age of 57.
Although
the final cause was a coronary failure, the real cause was a severe
allergy
reaction to an anti-gout medicine. The allergy is extremely serious
because it
has the same effect as a 2nd-degree burn victim. The attending doctors
during
his stay in the hospital believed the medicine that caused the reaction
was
Allopurinol, which had been prescribed by a doctor he had been
visiting. The
effect was a sickness called toxic epidermal necrolysis (TEN), which is
a very
serious variation of the Stevens-Johnson Syndrome (SJS).
A death in the family happens to all of us. But, when our turn comes,
it is
still a very painful experience. We buried Ed last Sunday. As the
eldest in
the family, I gave the response, after the funeral mass, on behalf of
the
family.
I want to share the talk I gave that day:
"We, the family and relatives of Ed would like to thank you for joining
us this
morning - not to mourn but to celebrate the rich full life of my
brother Ed.
I know that our hearts are full of sadness but our memories of Ed can
help all
of us heal.
My three brothers, Ed, Chuck and Alex, and my sister Chari grew up in
Bacolod.
My brothers and I all finished grade school and high school in La Salle
Bacolod. In college, Ed went to La Salle Manila where he first took up
Liberal
Arts-Commerce and then shifted to Mechanical Engineering.
After college he first worked in NCR and then went to Bancom where he
made many
friends, and who have remained so to this day, and where he became a
mentor to
so many people many of whom have achieved successes in the field of
finance. He
loved mentoring young people. There were numerous times he would
mention a name
in the banking world and then proudly say that he had trained that
person in
Bancom or Union Bank, where he went to work next. These people
tearfully
attested to the truth of this when they came to the wake.
He loved mentoring and lecturing. He taught risk management in MBA in
the
graduate school of De La Salle. He joined a group where he was the
principal
speaker for the corporate governance seminars for bank directors all
over the
country.
After Union Bank Ed tried other fields but then went back to banking in
CocoBank
where he spent many happy years. He left the bank and again tried other
fields
but it always seemed to me that Ed was happiest only when he was in
banking. He
joined IBank and that is where he ended his days.
Ed and I had a close bond not only because we were brothers, but also
because we
had common interests. We developed a passion for "strategy" and we read
books
about famous battles and famous military generals. His collection of
the
American civil war battles and Napoleon's campaign were more extensive
than
mine. We both also had a passion for science fiction and Asimov was our
favorite author.
He loved highly sophisticated computer games mostly on military
strategies. He
had a computer game called Waterloo, the last battle of Napoleon. He
would
analyze for me why Napoleon lost the battle and he was convinced he
knew how
the battle could have been won.
Ed had the ability to establish extraordinary rapport with people and
was very
close to our cousins, aunts and uncles. He was, of course, our
children's
favorite uncle.
His last few days in the hospital actually spoke of his life. Our only
sister,
Chari, whom he was especially very close to, so aptly wrote in his
obituary
about Ed's hospital stay: "In his final battle, he did his heroes,
Napoleon and
Lancelot, proud."
His last days in the hospital epitomized his courage, his humor and
fighting
spirit. He found many ways to conquer pain, to distract himself from
it, as he
could not have any pain killers because the doctors were monitoring
possible
allergy reactions.
At one occasion when the nurses were changing the dressing on his burnt
back,
our brother Chuck was cheering him on to fight the pain. As they
started slowly
peeling the gauze from his face, he instinctively raised a hand to
shield it and
loudly uttered a syllable. (At this point, Ed could no longer speak
audibly.) We
thought he was making a sound of pain but this was followed by more
syllables in
the same loud voice until we realized they were forming the melody of a
marching
song. Alex, our youngest brother standing outside the glass door of the
ICU
room, recognized the tune as the rousing La Salle alma mater song,which
begins
with, "Hail, hail, alma mater..." Chuck's daughter, a
USLS-Bacolod graduate, and Ed's own daughter, a St Benilde alumna,
stuck their
heads in and started singing the words of the song together with him.
One of
the nurses, a La Salle Dasmariñas product, sang along. Thus, the trio,
joined
by other La Sallians in the ICU, sang through the difficult session in
the
hospital, but it was Ed's baritone that soared above all other voices
and it was
he who conducted the whole chorus with his burnt arm. At song's end,
doctors,
nurses, and orderlies all applauded.
Afterwards, Chari, a UP alumna, remarked humorously (and perhaps
enviously) that
she would have led the singing of the UP song, too, but she felt it
sounded too
much like a funeral dirge.
As father, brother, cousin, nephew, teacher, mentor, boss, and business
colleague, Ed touched the lives of thousands of other lives. How many
of us
can make the same claim? And what greater legacy can a man leave
behind?
Goodbye Ed and thank you for the brotherhood, the friendship and the
many
wonderful shared memories. I know you will find eternal joy in a
paradise full
of love, laughter, strategy and peace.
On behalf of his children Kay, Buddie, Lance, Stephen and Nicole, his
sister
Chari whom he always fondly called Baby or Be, his brothers Chuck and
Alex, his
cousins and other relatives and my self, we thank you for coming and
sharing
with us your own fond memories of Ed.
We would like to invite you to join us in our final walk with Ed to a
resting
place beside our father and mother.
Elfren S. Cruz is a professor of Strategic Management at the De La
Salle
University Graduate School of Business.
